It seems to me that you have to take care of you here. He made his alcoholism your responsibility- but you could never, never fight it for him. It's just impossible. I'm glad you're here, and I'd like to suggest that you hook up with your local Al-Anon, as well as spending time here. Support and education will be invaluable, even if the relationship is over. Addictions come with certain relationship patterns, and when you can see those patterns you can learn to see yourself and the traits that brought you here in a wiser light.

*hugs* I can't imagine how painful this is for you, and I want you to know that you're not alone. You're not wrong, and you're not alone.