My question to all of you is did you recognize that your thoughts were irrational at the time of your delusion? a lot of time I do know but I'm to paranoid to say anything.

I knew that what I as thinking was weird but I still believed it. That's generally how I am.

Or did you not realize it until later, if ever? some times I don't recognize it until my T asks if I realize that's a bazaar thought.

When I'm severely depressed I believe that everyone I meet/talk to is thinking about how much they hate me. I think my coworkers are talking with each other when I leave about how awful I am. I think my friends are talking about me and talking about how self-centered and horrible I am. When that happens I believe it without a doubt no matter how much I am assured otherwise. It's not until I'm out of the episode that I think I was (probably) wrong. I do that too.

Did other people tell you your thoughts were sounding strange? I tell my therapist through writing and my husband if I'm not paranoid of him. If I'm paranoid and scared I usually cut. I usually tell my husband something like "by the way your completely against me and forcing medication on me." His answer usually is " I love you, I'm not, do you want your PRN yet? Is there anyway I can prove you wrong?"

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Be very carful I lost two 13 yr friendships, damaged my relationships with all my family members, and almost ended up hospitalized