B-
Let's do this. It's been seven months, I trust you. I want to talk Monday about whether I should take classes this summer, or take a semester off and let you break me open. I'm pretty sure you know how, from our mild arguments about whether the goal is to dismantle my defense system or just to gently help it evolve.

I can't do this on my own. I am willing to go the distance. I have good insurance - so if we push hard enough that I need inpatient, more meds, acupuncture, a Vipassana retreat - I can do that. I'm middle class for the first time ever.

I can't stay like this forever. I know right now I am drunk off my ***, scared, grieving, and lost, but I mean this. Monday, I intend to bring this up.

I will walk down to the end with you, if you will come all the way down with me. I mean both parts of that.

Also - if you don't listen to the Mountain Goats, you should start. I can hook you up with files.

Break me open and look at who I really am. I dare you. I dare me.

I've got the Maker's Mark if you need it.

-C