I can relate to this. Having BPD sometimes means we live through our emotions and everything becomes about how we feel and also projecting that onto those around us (feeling we are responsible for their feelings too).

I've been in awful relationships where I felt stuck in emotions and suddenly had a calm rational realization that I have a choice.

Don't rush into anything. Take your time and start accepting that you have options. Maybe try communicating how you feel and see what response you get. Honest communication never hurts a good relationship.