I can understand how distressed you feel. One thing I can recommend is St Johns Wort. You can buy it over the counter from most chemists. I started taking this a few weeks back, its a herbal remedy to treat anxiety and depression. Its quite potent even though its herbal but there's no hit like you get from synthetic prescription drugs. Its certainly taken the edge off for me. One thing to note is that its not a good idea to mix them with other medications as there can be interactions, so it may be an idea to consult with your GP first.

I really do feel for what you are going through, you're not alone.