Quote:
Originally Posted by Stronger
Our world today and our culture puts so much emphasis on physical and outer beauty. It drives me crazy sometimes. In fact, I never wear makeup for that reason. Well....and because I can never get up early enough to put it on, and it's a pain to take off, and it's expensive, and I have natural beauty....but you get my point.
Today I went prom dress shopping, and I found a drop dead gorgeous dress. I put it on, and looked in the mirror. Well, I looked very beautiful, but I didn't feel beautiful. I felt like an extremely sad girl with too many problems wearing a dress that was perfect in every way.  Too much of a contrast maybe?
Maybe I was thinking that a pretty blue fabric and a gallon of glitter (only the kind that gets EVERYWHERE) would make me feel beautiful. Maybe I thought that if I was "beautiful" enough, then I would be happy, and all my problems would disappear.  Doesn't really work that way, huh?
So then, what does it take to feel beautiful? What are some good ways to contradict the lies and images that we are constantly being bombarded with? |
I hope I can offer some comfort and encouragement. I am very much older than you. I had image problems and low self-esteem when I was younger. I was never pretty enough, thin enough, smart enough, good enough, never, ever [insert positive attribute here] enough, ever, in any situation. These were the messages I got at home. The media only intensified them.
Let me fast-forward to the present for a moment. I remarked one day that I had noticed, in looking at all my friends, that
every single one of them was (is) beautiful. And one of my friends replied "you see what is in yourself."
Now, while I don't want to frighten small children and do want to maintain a professional image for my work, I'm not really concerned about my own personal outward beauty. Yet I can look in the mirror and objectively see that I do look just fine.
So how did I go from horrible, not-good-enough-person to one who has beautiful friends and looks not too shabby herself?
1. I quit worrying about it. I stopped buying magazines that emphasized beauty and I stopped watching commercial tv (because I went back to school and had little time for tv, period).
2. I stopped engaging in discussions about figure flaws, how to improve my hair and makeup, etc. There are so many other things in the world!
3. I quit
trying to please men (and discovered men don't care about the stuff magazines tell us they do)
4. I chose my friends based on things I admired about them and how they treated me, not on a mutual shared interest on how horrible we all were because we were not perfect.
5. My environment changed. I got another job that exposed me to more people; most of whom are not concerned with their physical looks.
If you [male
or female] want to wear makeup, wear it. If you want to wear a gorgeous dress, wear it! I love beautiful clothes! When I see others wearing beautiful things I tell them! You already know you have natural beauty. My guess is your "too many problems" are standing in the way of your appreciating your own self. Many problems drop away with time. Others can be consciously addressed in constructive ways. As they are resolved your beauty will shine brighter and brighter.
Allow yourself to be happy, even if you have problems!! Happiness is the best beauty enhancer there is!