Some of the stuff you were saying got me to wondering if you are a little disconnected from your feelings. The surprise and the not being all that upset and the vague notion of having negative thoughts (I say vague just because when I phrase things the way you did I usually am not totally in touch with the thoughts I have been feeling) all sound totally familiar to me. I will sit there and wonder why I did it and struggle to remember or figure out what caused me to do what I did. If you feel safe enough you might want to explore those negative feelings and ask yourself if those feelings are symptomatic of something else that you are squashing emotionally. If you don't feel safe save it until you talk to your T next time. And yes, most definately tell him.
Carrie

<font color=blue>The important thing is this: to be able at any momeent to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.--Charles Du Bos