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I've been friends with this woman who is about 50 for over two years and things were better then. Back then the friendship was equal, and she'd call me and invite me out as often as I did with her. She'd also almost always pick up the phone when I called and she'd also email me back almost right away.
These days she NEVER invites me out anywhere EVER! I always ask her if she wants to see a movie and/or go out to eat too. She usually says OK when she's not busy. Also, she rarely ever picks up the phone when I call now. 99% of the time it goes straight to v.m and she often forgets to call me claiming that she didn't get my v.m until late that night since her phone died or that she is still having issues with her phone, ugh!
She even said that she doesn't get texts from her b.f right away. And this is coming from a business woman who works for a large computer firm! She has two phones that she CONSTANTLY checks at the movies. She'll always respond to texts from her b.f or daughter, but not me, ugh!
We have never ever had any disagreements and we have always gotten along together well. She was depressed when I first met her and on meds. She hated her boss at the time since she was such a witch, but she now has one of the best bosses a person could ask for. She is well liked at work, she has a new b.f, and she is happier in general and even loosing weight now.
She knows that I'm depressed too, but she told me that I never seemed that depressed although she knows all about my problems. I haven't mentioned anything bad in awhile, and I mostly ask her about herself and talk about girl stuff with her, so me being a "downer" can't be the issue now. So, can anyone tell me why her behaviour has changed so drastically?
I have NOT mentioned anything to her about this yet, but I'm so upset, that I need to do this soon for my own sanity. One guy friend of mine told me to not say anything to her as I could come across as "needy" and I'll just end up making her head for the hills. He bascially thinks that as long as things are good between us, that I should just suck it up and tolerate this bad behaviour, ugh! Also, my best friend told me to just give this woman her space and to stop "chasing" after her.
She told me to not contact her until she contacts me and invites me out. I'm not into playing games. I'm a direct person and I thought this woman was too. So, should I nicely ask this friend why she no longer invites me anywhere and that it makes me feel as if I'm not that important to her or something like that? I need to know what to say so that she won't end up becoming offended or defensive.
She also has a very annoying and bad habit of running errands at the very last minute or staying on the phone a lot longer than anticipated when her very needy daughter calls her at the last minute which results in her being half an hour late to meet me most of the time too. When we make plans to go to a movie, this really messes up our plans! She even forgets what the right movie times are sometimes, and I have to plan everything now too! She used to help make the plans in the past, but she no longer does any of that.
If she is going to be running late, she should call me and let me know that! I tried to be flexible, but I can't tolerate this anymore! It's really rude! I haven't really made it clear that this bothers me. I'm going to do that soon too as this is ridiculous and very rude! I doubt she'd be OK with me doing the same! Any insight and advice on what to say to her and WHY she might be doing this would be really helpful! I'm seeing her tomorrow, but I might wait a little longer and not say anything until I get a decent amount of responses.
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