I think I may have schizophrenia But I am not sure
After looking it up and discussing it with my mother she also believes
It sounds like what I am and have been going through. I am in my early 20s
I have declined in personal care I don't even feel like bathing unless I really have too
Usually I wash up and toss my dirty hair in a ball cap or pony tail.. I dropped out of trying to go to college and get a job,I lost all desire in it. I have been told I say and do things that don't make sense at all,and I do things I don't even remember later.. (no I am not on any drugs) I hear voices all the time breathing or I will feel air on my face or swear something is crawling in my hair or on my back or touching me or standing behind me. I see people and animals and HORRIBLE messed up things like contorted faces and evil eyes. sometimes I will be staring at someone and their face will contort and It will horrify me and they will wonder what's wrong. The voices also tell me things like what I should be doing (the helpful ones) and the bad ones tell me I am worthless and I am a failure and everyone hates me and wants me dead or gone. I can't hold up a job I oversleep sometimes sleeping away an entire day sometimes it's the opposite though and I don't sleep at all for long time before passing out from exhaustion. I get jumpy and I get paranoid I think everyone is against me at times and I get so hypersensitive. I get mad at people for no reason at times. And I will hit myself from it or cut myself from it. I think life is a personal hell that I created for myself I think maybe I am apart of some weird otherworldly experiment and everything around me has been simulated to seem normal but it's not. But someone told me those thoughts aren't normal even though they are to me.
To me they make so much sense. My mom is going to get me an appointment with a professional on the matter... The thought makes me sick I don't want to be labeled crazy! What if this ruins my life? what if it makes it so I never get a job because no one will want to hire me? How do I deal with this? I feel so lost right now..