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Originally Posted by x_BabyG_x
Thank you for your reply, it's always very helpful for me to have an outside perspective!
I've only just realised how brief I was let me explain a bit more.
My partner can be very emotionally abusive, although he denies it. He ruined Mother's Day (for the third year running!) this year by having me in tears because I didn't wash the pots up and the house was a bit of a mess. He ignored me all day in front of his family and then carried on giving me the silent treatment for 2 days afterwards. He knows I can't stand it. My anxiety was so bad, it affected my work and my sleep and I turned to the painkillers (I have a dependency on them which I'm currently receiving help for) again.
I know that I ultimately control my emotions and only I can hurt myself by letting others influence me etc, but this is exactly why I said I wanted some time on y own in the first place!
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There is a HUGE difference between 'taking time out' for yourself to get your head together and the silent treatment, especially if he puts you through it for days, much less hours. I have been on the receiving end of that kind of behaviour and I'm strongly suggesting...I mean STRONGLY suggesting, that in the time you're taking to figure out where your going or where you are.....you also figure out how to dump this guy; if you still want to make it work, then maybe counselling for both of you would be helpful.
Personally, if he's emotionally abusive and uses the silent treatment to control you (and that is exactly what he's doing) I don't see him changing, or even wanting to consider changing.
Again, you take care of you....he sounds like a petulant little boy when confronted with something he doesn't want. Just like my ex. It took a lot for me to see it, and it wasn't until months after the break-up that I realised what he was putting me through all those years. I would never put up with it again, and know now exactly what 'it' looks like.
Take care
