I am hoping to gain advice from those who maybe have dealt with this. I currently go through both long and drawn out episodes as well as fleeting moments of ideation. My therapist tells me this is something I will most likely have to deal with my entire life. Ive done my best to cope but it is hard. Granted things are worse in a depressive phase but even when thing are going good I have strong impulses to destruct.

and, While I happen to think she is probably right... I feel like I am staring at a massive wall that seems impossible to climb over.

I feel really stuck, and I really want to live a good life even though part of me is trying to hold me back. How does one cope and overcome this?