Quote:
Originally Posted by littlemiss44
She sounds like she is either playing games with you or pulling away. You deserve better than what she is giving you hun. I would ask her straight up if she is bothered by you cause she doesn't seem as interested as she used to be. Ask her that. I have a friend who loves me alot and she pulls away when her bipolar is bad. If she doesn't answer her phone for a day or two I know she's not feeling well. I'll text her and ask her if she's ok and if I did anything. She always lets me know it's not my fault and she's not feeling good. Maybe yr friend just doesn't feel like doing anything right now? If she has always been a good friend it just doesn't make sense. I would ask her if she is upset with you. That's just my opinion from reading yr post. It's just not fair to you that she's always late to see you. I'd call her on it otherwise you won't really know what her feelings are. Tell her yr friendship is really important to you and that you care about her. I hope that helps you. Good luck sweetie. Let us know how it goes. Take care. :-)
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Thanks for your reply! I think that you're right! It's more likely that she's pulling away since I might've relied on her one to many times for advice and moral support, ugh! This has happened before, and I guess that even friends have their limits, so sadly, I should keep more to myself-
However, I don't do that anymore! Is this why she was probably pulling away from me?
Anyways, you're right, I DO deserve better! I WILL have a talk with her tomorrow, AFTER the movie as to not ruin it for either of us. I was thinking of telling her the following:
I need to talk to you about something that has really been bothering me for a long time. I have noticed for a long time, about a year or more, that you no longer invite me out anymore anywhere like you used to. I know that you get busy sometimes, but it's been like this for a very long time. I would like to know if I ever did or said anything to upset you. If so, I'd like to know about it.
Also, most of the time, you tend to be up to half an hour late when we make plans to go to the movies. I do understand that you can't always be on time due to certain things, but I'd appreciate it if you'd let me know when you're running late so that I can do other things and not worry if you forgot about our plans. I'm sure you wouldn't like it if I didn't bother calling you if I was going to be between 15-30 minutes late. Even if you're on the phone with your daughter, you can put her on hold and call me on your other phone to let me know that you'll be running late.
One other thing, I have also noticed that most of my calls go to v.m, a call a few days later, and sometimes, I don't even get a call back. That makes me feel as if I'm not that important to you anymore. I'm sure that you wouldn't like me to treat you like the way that I've been treated. I hope that you realize that I've been a good friend to you and that I expect to be treated with a certain amount of consideration and respect. I expect to be treated like an equal, so please don't be upset at me for being honest. You'd probably do the same if you were me.
So, how's that? Should I change anything or not mention the situation about the phone calls? I'm sure that she'll offer excuses like she tends to get busy at times, she is forgetful, etc...If she does, then I'll know that I've been demoted to an almost acquaintance type of "friend" that she only has time for when she's bored and has nothing else to do.
Also, she used to be sort of annoying when she had a very flaky b.f that she was dating from a dating site in the past who'd say he'd come to see her and then not show up at all. He wouldn't even call her to say that he wouldn't be coming over that day. She'd make tentative plans with me just in case he didn't show up. It was a bit insulting. She finally saw the light and dumped him after I talked some sense into her.
I think that this new b.f might be more of a priority in her life. She invited him to the movies with us w/o me asking if he'd like to come once before. I think that she could tell that I wasn't that happy about it although I was nice to him, so she didn't invite him to hang out with us again. She always told me that I'm lucky to have a man in my life although my husband isn't the best one there is.
She's been married and divorced twice to two drug abusers. She doesn't seem to really need or want that many friends in her life too as she's very independent and usually busy with work and dealing with constant drama with her adult daughter. I sometimes wonder if she's jealous of me since I don't need to work and I'm married. I'm also 10yrs. younger than her.
Anyways, I'd really appreciate anymore insight and advice on this matter. Thanks again! I'll keep everyone posted on what happens! Wish me luck, and hope that she'll be able to listen to me and understand my POV & start treating me better instead of pulling away more!