I get what you are saying. Yes I too think some people use their illness as a crutch, I think that happens with any kind of illness or condition My ex husband was also Deaf, he could talk and talk quite well, but he refused to, he wanted everyone else to learn sign language. It's not quite the same thing but broadly I see it as people who want sympathy instead of healing. After a certain point you need to take responsibility for your own actions no matter what the illness or condition.