Quote:
Originally Posted by growlithing
I had more of a problem when I started out and when I first got to know them. Now I get up and sit on the floor randomly if I want or just play with random things around the room.
I got there I guess by getting more comfortable with them. I needed to know they wouldn't leave me if I did something they disliked. We just talked about things I like that makes me feel comfortable and worked up to stuff that made me uncomfortable. And we know each other. I know how she'll react before I do anything. I think asking for permission at first is fine. You have to get a feel for how she handles stuff before doing anything else.
|
I would like to get to the place where I can do random things too, if only because I think it would increase my trust for my T. I keep asking myself why I can't be spontaneous, if I fear her leaving me like you have. But I have only a month left with her, so I'm really not worried about her kicking me to the curb early. So what could it be? Maybe I fear her judgment, but she has said many times that she won't judge me. Maybe I just need to grit my teeth and do it, and as you say, I'll learn how she reacts and I could use that in the future.
Quote:
Originally Posted by growlithing
I have a problem with apologizing too much. It's different but kinda similar because coming in and redirecting yourself to just a small space, looking one specific place, being all tight like that is being apologetic about you being there. I used to always sign my emails off to LCM with "I'm so sorry". She eventually told me to stop
It with the sorry so I signed off the next email with "you're welcome" in a sarcastic kind of way. The strange thing is that changing that one thing made me feel less apologetic. I am grateful and thankful and I thank her all the time, but I apologize less.
Maybe challenge yourself to look at a new thing every session?
|
That's really interesting- I never thought of that connection before, but I think it sort of is like apologizing for being there. Or in my case, it could be even deeper: apologizing for having maternal feelings for her. Thanks for the insight.
I'm glad you were able to stop apologizing in your emails. I'll try to take that attitude and start looking around.