You sound pretty clued up on how to manage, maybe all you need is a bit more faith in yourself. You've overcome a lot to get this far and you're obviously very strong. sometimes I think it is easy to lose sight of how much strength we have when we're dealing with our illnesses. If it helps to post here, then I'm sure someone will be around to respond or you can send me a pm if you think that could help. I hope you enjoy the break while your kids are away. Try and make some plans about how you will spend your time, even if it is just one accomplishment a day.