I struggle with this too. When I attempted, I made a promise to my sister that I would never go through with it. She told me how it's selfish, and loved ones suffer so much after. That really changed my perspective . You have to find a reason for living . Easier said than done, I know!
I hope that you have loved ones who are supportive. If you ever need to talk, send me a PM!
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In a season of suffering, we may question God's intentions. But sometimes His plans for deliverance are greater than our desire for relief
-anonymous
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