Hi ToeJam, good that the anxieties down!! As for the other feelings, I know it must be really hard but it can take some time for them to lift a bit more, particularly after how you've been feeling, but at least you're breaking through a little, just try to remember and keep a hold of that.
And you do seriously have some great insight- maybe more than you think!!
You have pushed yourself to go to archery class despite......;you are acknowledging that it didn't go that well- not because of the class, not because of you, but because of the depression, and you were fighting it in not letting it make it harder for you to return another time!!
And kind of "nail on the head" here (!!), if it's true: "so I probably don't elaborate enough nor say it as it is. But I put the mask on"
You've recognised something that's probably not helping which is great, and that's something you can change!! OK, might not be easy.......might be hard........but.........
You know there's NO "making a meal of things" when your talking feelings as real as yours. They really do matter!! They really are important!! YOU really are important!!
And anyway, you know if we care (which we do!!) why shouldn't other people??!! Particularly if it's their job, like your G.P's- so going to tell them a little more/or try to??
As for the writing do you think it may help to just write down anything without even trying to concentrate and see where it goes?? Then even if at the end of it there's only one sentence you think "maybe" then that's something!! Then maybe another time it could go to two "maybe"'s??
Then, it might even give you some recognition/connection/satisfaction (?) just by reading things you've already written, without writing for now.
As for talking to your G.P I really can get that you may find it difficult talking about things (even lack motivation to try?) and it would be easier with notes. But if you're finding it difficult to write down how you're feeling perhaps go through some of your threads or other people's threads and see if anything resonates with you that you can jot down. Might be a bit easier???
Alison