Honestly my Father died recently and it has affected my relationship with my husband. So please take anything from this that is helpful and leave the rest. My husband was great in that he just did the extra relationship stuff such as household chores and let me have time to cry. He did not try to tell me it will get better. His Mom died when he was young so he understood. I had to seek emotional support completely outside of him because he is bi polar so I just let him help in the ways he could which was more psychical. You cant help her with the fact her Mom died but you can minimize other stress for her and maybe get her a massage or something to help reduce stress. Help her to eat well and sleep well and then seek additional emotional support. It really takes a village and its helpful not to have that stress on the relationship.

I hear that you feel she is distant but she might just need to deal with her stuff and also with her family. Grief is a huge process and people have strange ways of reacting to it. I have siblings and it tour us apart. Just giving her space and allowing her to do her thing is the best that you can do and maybe not pressuring her to make other choices right now. Honestly I had to take space from my husband because I just could not deal with anything else right then. I really takes time. If you love her than be there for her if only as a friend or however she needs. I am a very strong person and love my husband very much but I was just exhausted and had nothing to give him. Grieving for someone is very tiring. I hope something in her helps.