I'm trying not to drink when I move overseas in 3 weeks because I don't want to exacerbate my mental health issues. Drinking is a huge social buffer for me. I don't like big groups of people and write off most people as boring too quickly. Drinking makes this more bearable. Also, I'm pretty introverted, so making small talk with strangers for hours literally exhausts me and slightly depresses me.

If I don't go out with the new recruits, how will I possibly make friends? How do I do this if I hate small talk?

I'm trying to meet some people online before I go, but I have not been too successful.

I fear that I may get very lonely

Also, I am begining to have huge trust issues. I have some good friends here, but I have had many that have just fizzled out. So many friends have wanted me around, and then just haven't. I think that this is because they were sexually motivated and realized that it wasn't going in their favor or they get GFs. I am unable to bond with most women because I am nothing like most women. I've had too many romances recently in which I was just one day nothing to these guys after everything had been so intense. To top things off, I just found out that my BFF has been using heroin behind my back for two years. I feel like people are more often than not lying to me or pretending to care about me.

I hope that I'm wrong, but I fear that this habit of isolation and unstable interpersonal relationships will continue overseas