Yes T, yes I do know that you are going away for 2 weeks and that means that it will be 3 weeks between seeing you. Yup, yes, indeed I do know this, and yes it does make me feel somewhat anxious and sad.

BUT!!

Seriously???? I tell you some bloody difficult things happening this last week, that have meant I have had so many difficult emotions and memories of the past.....and when I can't put my finger on exactly WHICH thing is affecting me the most, and instead suddenly cry and say "there is just this big rock sitting in my chest and I don't know what is wrong".....you respond with...

Is it that I am going to be away for 2 weeks?.....it totally floored me!!

Wow, that was pretty predictable wasn't it? Really? A T thinking it was all about them? Maybe this is predictable behaviour from some clients, but not me! You know that I need to know that you are taking care of yourself and getting enough breaks. We have discussed this!!!!!

GAAAAAAAAHHHH!! In fact the whole session was off! I told you my head was just fuzzy, and I could not find any one thing to discuss, you said it was a defence probably....I know it was. But really, a defence because you are on leave??? Maybe you missed an opportunity to dig deeper and finally see some of the trauma, and also some of my deeper fears. THAT right there was what was holding me back.

(That felt good to get out, pretty sure I wont tell you, but if I am still angry then I may.....ugh)