Arya, it is admirable that you are honest about your fears. That is a good (no, great) first step. And recognizing the black and white thinking is good, also. As I have gotten healthier I've tried to think of many decisions I make as 'trials'. If something doesn't work out or isn't a fit, it is OK to move on AND it doesn't make me a bad person. It sure takes the pressure off when I think in these terms.