If he won't accept responsibility for himself and you are trying to please him, I don't see how things can change? Figure out what you want for yourself and then share with him what you want and your plans to work toward that and invite him to join you. For example, if you want to try therapy, tell him you are going to set up an appointment and would really like him to come too to see if the two of you can work in the marriage difficulties, ask him does he have a preference of time, thearpist's gender, type, etc. and then set up the appointment. If he does/does not come with you, that will tell you a great deal about his personal commitment to you. Words aren't cutting it, it is going to require action. If he does the "your fault, I don't need therapy" then throw back at him, "Maybe not, but I want you there with me, it takes two to tango". If he is not interested even in helping you become better (from his point of view, if it is all your "fault") then he's all talk and no loving "partner" action and, presumably, that is not what you want/need in your life at this time?