I actually have a red-headed stepson He was a bit of a problem out of school but eventually found himself and now is one of the pillars of our family with his wife and the two grandchildren, etc. It can take time for changes to be acknowledged and worked through and some people (like your stepsister it sounds like) can be threatened by that change. My stepsister and I have just gotten together again over her aunt; I thought our relationship was done a couple Christmases ago when she no longer hosted a big "family" dinner party, wanting to be with her husband and her children and their families only. Keep hoping and working for a better relationship with family, it can happen.