You are most definitely right about upbringing having negative effect on you. When we are kids
we absorb EVERYTHING, but when we get older
we forget stuff that was said to us,but it is STILL
there running like a recording! Problem is,we think
that those recordings are US! When it is from the
parents. No wonder you have no self-esteem . . . .
BUT,help is at hand! Please get these books for
dear self: "The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem", and
"Honoring The Self " by Nathaniel Branden. He is
a psychologist,and the recognized expert on self-
esteem. And please stop yourself trying to 'please'
other people,this is what they look down on you for. They see that as 'weak',and easy to push around someone like that. With others,seek to be
RESPECTED, not liked. The liking will come,but
NOT at the expense of your self-respect.Please do
invest in dear self,you are worth it--but you will
have to put in the WORK to improve!
Deepest Respect,
BLUEDOVE