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Apr 13, 2014, 03:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BLUEDOVE
You are most definitely right about upbringing having negative effect on you. When we are kids
we absorb EVERYTHING, but when we get older
we forget stuff that was said to us,but it is STILL
there running like a recording! Problem is,we think
that those recordings are US! When it is from the
parents. No wonder you have no self-esteem . . . .
BUT,help is at hand! Please get these books for
dear self: "The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem", and
"Honoring The Self " by Nathaniel Branden. He is
a psychologist,and the recognized expert on self-
esteem. And please stop yourself trying to 'please'
other people,this is what they look down on you for. They see that as 'weak',and easy to push around someone like that. With others,seek to be
RESPECTED, not liked. The liking will come,but
NOT at the expense of your self-respect.Please do
invest in dear self,you are worth it--but you will
have to put in the WORK to improve!
Deepest Respect,
BLUEDOVE
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Thanks for your advice- I do have better self esteem now. I was pretty bad when I was younger! I'd let myself be taken for granted, used, treated badly, and never really speak up most of the time. I don't put up with any crap from anyone anymore! I speak up when I'm being treated unfairly most of the time now too!
I have fewer friends now, but they're much healthier and genuine friendships to where I usually feel like an equal most of the time now and not just as someone who's just there-:
Also, I no longer try to please other people most of the time, especially when I can clearly see that they don't appreciate my kind gestures. There is a saying that goes like this:
Kindness is NOT a sign of weakness! Why do some people think that it is? Do I have to resort to being selfish to be respected? It seems like the more selfish and narcissitic people that I know are more well liked and respected which I don't get at all. Are most people just stupid and backwards? It sure seems like it!
I no longer pay that much if any attention to those people who don't treat me with respect and consideration. Considering how far I've come over the years, I still don't get why I don't get more respect from people. What is the secret to being liked? I've read books and I think that I do most things right, so you'd think that I'd have more friends, but no, I don't.
Am I doing something wrong? I treat others with respect and consideration, but when they don't do the same for me, I move on. Screw them! I can usually sense when someone is full of crap and not really that genuine almost right away after hanging around them enough and getting to know them better.
It seems like there are just a lot of me, me, me users out there who are full of it. Ugh! I'll have to check out that book sometime. If there is anymore insight or advice you can offer me into why people think that nice people are "weak", then please tell me more about that. Also, I'd like to know more about what you think will get other people to respect me more and maybe even end up liking me. If they don't, then that's fine, but to keep on having little to no luck with people tells me that I'm doing a few things wrong still-:
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