Today we had our annual suicide prevention walk. I spent the entire walk stewing in my own self-hatred, listening to the laughter of the people all around me and knowing I'll never be socially successful like them. I spent a good portion of the walk thinking about how much I want to jump off the tallest building in town.

I'm scared. Part of me wants to die and part of me wants to live.

I feel like I should talk to someone about this. I'm thinking about calling a hotline. I would like to talk to the friend who went with me to the ER on Wednesday, but I don't want to make him feel like my caretaker. That's not fair to him.

Thanks for listening.