That's always the absolute worst, when you're supposed to be having fun but you've been isolated by your own thoughts and feelings.

Please focus on the part of you that wants to live! If there's at least one little part of you there then you can make it through this time. Call a hotline! Go back to the ER if you need to. Be honest with them and say you have a plan that you have every intention of acting on. Call your therapist. Call your friend.

Come here and talk to us.

Anything to stay alive. You know as well as anyone else that this condition is cyclical. What goes down must come up eventually...it may take a long time but it will happen. But it can't get better if you stop before it has the chance.