I'm constantly isolated physically from many people every day. Except occasionally I go out for one night that's it. This isolation and just talking to myself and the fragmented psychosis I deal with on a daily basis having no sense of reality. Just stuck here, knowing I am physically alone and constantly avoiding how alone I am waiting when I'm actually not to let it go, but no it has never happened yet. I don't have the independence I can make new friends where I live and I am unable to have new friends, because people my age are ****ing assholes. I put too much effort to be alone, because I don't have a choice. I don't want to be on this planet, because I am alone and it's depressing no one wants a human like me. I don't have the manly ideals that most guys have, I don't give a damn bout being perfect for someone because no one gave a flying **** bout me. I guess that makes me a bad evil person, because I didn't get what I want and that fact makes a miserable human being and how I should be treated is discrimination and physical punishment. I should be treated like dirt because I deserve it, that's what every person makes me feel that tries to get close to me, because this has happened like that a lot of times. I can't bear living a life expected to do anything else other than die like this. So I just fake it all the time.