I could have been harder on myself than that. You should see my actual MMPI computer-generated report. Well, I wrote a reaction paper to that and could post that here. It was tons harsher. The description isn't meant to be judgemental - just descriptive. And it's accurate. In one of my classes, down south where it was warmer, we were talking about what you can get out of those descriptions. The instructor asked what we would get from a description of a client wearing several layers and a winter coat, in July. There I was in several layers and a big heavy sweater, and I was shivering. I spoke up and said "client anticipates air conditioning and dresses accordingly!" The guy next to me gave me a high five for that one. But what the instructor was looking for is that there is some breakdown in mental processing - a likely sign of a psychotic disorder.

But then, I have some thought processes that at least border on psychotic. My MMPI suggested that I was probably a psychotic drug addict with mood and personality disorders.

Yeah, that took a while. Especially if you count all the time that I was dissociating and had to play PacMan http://www.ufarcade.com/play-2399-Deluxe_Pacman.html to take a break and try to get back some control.

I'll post the treatment plan piece too when I'm up to that, but I'm not yet. I could post my Eva Peron (historical figure) assessment & treatment plan if you guys want to see that part too. I'll think about letting T see my self-assessment. That is really scary though. Can we say anxiety, anyone?

Thanks for reading and for your opinions. I think part of what I was hoping for was feedback on how well that fits me and whether anyone can tell that I'm that bad. And does anyone think that I have any chance of ever overcoming this stuff and being a productive member of society? I'm hoping that I'll be able to function as a therapist, but my instructor for the personality disorders class didn't seem to think that people with personality disorders can ever move past them. But then, he doesn't know me beyond my student persona. I am really tempted to send him my self-assessment and see what he says about it, but I'm afraid it would be sabotaging myself to do that. My A for his class is already recorded.

Rap