my mom belittles me because of my weight. i like skinny.

but anyway my brain feels like its slipping a lot and fast. it feels like my head is literally changing. tonight ive been doing some old things i did while psychotic. i figure im pretty much back on the road to becoming psychotic again. yesterday i actually sat on the floor in the middle of target. and acted so weird i guess i had 2 employees following me and kept asking me questions. 1 looked at me funny when i was talking. and i saw him kept looking at me when i was sitting on the floor in target. im not getting good sleep anymore. 5 hours a day. im definitely going back psychotic. is it worth it to lose weight? idk but i gotta do it