My psychiatrist told me today that he feels sometimes like I set him up for failure. I also seem to have a talent for hurting him.

Now he's not a psychologist or therapist, but he does make some good points in his observations and I always end up thinking because of what he says. For example, this was my response to him regarding his comment about setting him up for failure: </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Setting you up for failure - I don't doubt that I probably do. I probably do that to myself and those around me. I set them up to fail in my/our relationship. How do I do that? How do I change that? How should I adjust my expectations? My therapist once said I have impossible expectations of others and myself. Also, there are two of us involved so let me ask you as well: How are you buying into this? How are you participating in this? How do you set yourself up for failure?

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I think that's good stuff to go into. The problem is that I don't get much further because we don't have time together and like I said he isn't trained so the sessions don't work like they do with a therapist.

I know there is a lot of transference and countertransference going on and I don't have a handle on all of it. It's too bad he isn't trained in this because this relationship triggers more things and would allow me to work through more things than the relationship I have with my therapist.

I should talk to my therapist about this other relationship, but I keep getting sheepish, feeling afraid that I will get in trouble for having all this transference going on like I do. I'm a little embarrassed that I react so strongly to him and that he seems to mean so much to me.