It sounds like you need to have a long talk with a professional--explain how you feel, why you think you feel this way, fears, goals, things that are interfering with your functioning, living, whatever is bothering you, etc. You need to be concerned with your internal state and your interactions--not what others are saying about you. It isn't going to be helpful for you to internalize the idea that there is something "wrong" with you. Sometimes well-meaning families focus on blaming and correcting the "wrong" and it only serves to further marginalize the person who is suffering. You should work to develop a plan that will get you where you want to be--whether it be with life goals, symptom reduction, etc. Medication may be a tool that you use, but you should understand that once you start taking them, they can be hard to come off and their use changes the brain potentially making relapse more likely. Unfortunately, we don't have a lot of alternatives to medication available.