In the past I've behaved in the most vile abusive manners imaginable...

But you know what I discovered?
It wasn't my true nature emerging, it was being involved with the person who brought out the worst qualities in me...

I had an abusive bf, and God did he make the monster in me come out. Sometimes I think he's partially responsible for creating her. I physically attacked him on more than one occasion and neither times was self-defense.

It was more along the lines of "you really dont wanna fk with me you POS, I'll kill you and enjoy it."

I finally left him and lead my (our) daughter to safety. She was never in any physical danger, but still I regret exposing her to him, his drinking and using, and also the monster he brought out in her mother.

I now have a wonderful bf, sure he's not perfect, not by a long shot. But he brings out the best in me and makes me want to be a better humanbeing.

So for me, it really was my toxic ex and our toxic relationship that brought out the toxic psycho in me, maybe the same is true for you...

You're not a horrible person, not by any stretch of the imagination, I hope and pray you learn to love yourself despite your shortcomings and find contentment and inner peace in doing so.

You are worthy