My biggest mental health concern is Major Depressive Disorder and I think the worst symptom I experience with my family is irritability. It causes a lot of tension and arguments because they don't understand it is just the depression, and what I do and say is unintentional and not me just trying to create chaos. This is the issue that leads me to isolation, because I don't want to hurt anyone with my short fuse. Irritability is the mask I hide behind in public in order to not show pain, tears, sadness, etc.

I know how hard it can be do receive validation and understanding from family members. They aren't experiencing it firsthand and only see the fragmented version of the illness so often times it makes no sense to them. I'm sorry you struggle with paranoia and it must be really hard to feel something so real, that seems confusing to others.

I hope you are able to find better understanding here, at least?