
Apr 14, 2014, 05:41 AM
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Member Since: Mar 2014
Location: Sweden
Posts: 179
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trying2survive
i was in love with a heroin addicted girl before too, this is something they do. especially on the weekend.she's out getting high. unfortunately with them the high comes before anything else.you are in a really tough situation. i know EXACTLY how you feel & it's awful. i tried everything with her and in the end the heroin won out, she's on her way to prison now & at least i know she's still alive and safe. but i had to move on with my life, you probably don't want to hear this....i know i didn't at the time,but it may be time to move on, heroin is extremely addictive and when they don't have it, that's all they think about is getting it( and are willing to do anything to get it). you have got to start living for you, you deserve better than to be treated like this. in order to truly quit, you have to get away from the people, the places & the things. period. right now she's not willing to do that, try to keep yourself busy, let her call you.that's what i used to do, i got tired of calling and texting and not getting a response, that's emotionally abusive, forcing you to worry like this, the aching and worrying feels awful, mind wandering and running through all the possible scenarios of what could be going on...it's not worth it. when you're calling and texting she's feeling bad about what she's doing(ashamed) so it's making it worse, so to make the shame go away she starts using again & it turns into a vicious cycle. i know how hard it is not to call & text, you just feel like you want to die when she doesn't pick up, but you gotta stop or it's gonna drive you crazy like it did me, you just have to accept that she's out getting high & at some point you are going to have to come to a decision as to whether you want to keep going through this, cause i can tell you as sure as i'm sitting here typing, it's not going to stop. i know that's not what you wanted to hear, but i just went through the exact same situation last summer  
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She always texts me when she's high though. When she's high she's emotionally stable and have an easier time talking to me. It's when she's trying to quit she shuts me out. The abstinence is horrible and I understand her not being able to talk to anyone at that point. She does feel bad about not replying, which she shouldn't, and she's always apologizing wishing she could be there to calm me down. She says she's not the only one who needs to be looked after and cared for and she wants to be the one who does that for me but doesn't know how. She does calm me down though. She makes me so happy when she's actually there and that makes it all worth it. Nobody else does. But I still worry... that just comes naturally when you love someone as much as I love her. She can and will get better. Because she wants to and is motivated to. And even IF this was going to be forever, I'd stay right by her side. She needs me and I need her. I'm not breaking any of the promises I gave her.
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