She always texts me when she's high though. When she's high she's emotionally stable and have an easier time talking to me. It's when she's trying to quit she shuts me out. The abstinence is horrible and I understand her not being able to talk to anyone at that point. She does feel bad about not replying, which she shouldn't, and she's always apologizing wishing she could be there to calm me down. She says she's not the only one who needs to be looked after and cared for and she wants to be the one who does that for me but doesn't know how. She does calm me down though. She makes me so happy when she's actually there and that makes it all worth it. Nobody else does. But I still worry... that just comes naturally when you love someone as much as I love her. She can and will get better. Because she wants to and is motivated to. And even IF this was going to be forever, I'd stay right by her side. She needs me and I need her. I'm not breaking any of the promises I gave her.

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