to answer your question of suspicions of me, yes he has voiced them throughout our relationship from the begining. right before we offically began dating i made him aware that at the time i was talking/ dating another guy but it wasn't offical. i told him up front so it wasn't like i was hiding or lying about it. but then once he and i became offical he has questioned me and thought i was/ had been cheating which is completely bogus and untrue. i have never and would never cheat no matter whom i was with. but from then on up until even now he will accuse me of cheating. which i think is ridiculus because i told him before we were even dating the situation he knew what he was getting into and we went even together. but i have dealt with it because i do love him but nothing i do to prove im not doing anything with someone else has ever been good enough. i am sure he is getting tired of me bringing things up if he hasn't done anything but also in reality he has done the same thing and made me for awful about myself about the mentioned before us situation for the last five years and i have only been saying and asking thingd for less than a month, how can he really get mad about it, and really now he knows somewhat of how hes been treaing me for the last five years when i have done nothing.

i have suggested multiple times for us to get counseling together and each time he refuses, hes says it will not help anything and they are just going to tell you their opinion and he doesn't need it, he knows what they are going to say...etc. i have told how i feel about all of it, that the breakup itself made me question everything including his feeling for me and simply the trust i had built up and what he needs to do to change and make it better. the only response i get for expressing any type of felling or concern is anger and he telling me to stop being emo. his way of solving problems is to ignore them, even though i keep telling him thats not going to fix or make anything better.

its very frustrating becasue he acts so childish, and im really at a loss as to what to think or say or do. nothing i do makes him really take things seriously. if i left him he probably wouldn't care too much to see it as a sign that he needs to get his self together. when i was in councelling i was told this is emotionally abuse and i beleive it. i hate that i feel this way all the time and im the one putting in all the effort to change myself for the better and hes not.

before him i was never this way with guys, if a guy wasn't treating me the way i wanted i would move on no problem not sure why this is so hard. i think councelling would really help but how can i get him to go too? how can i love someone who doesn't really show any regard for how i feel and makes commits such " all girls are stupid they just want the stupid s**t like flowers and to cuddle its all stupid and doesn't matter" which then i take as something against me because little things like that are what i want becasue he never does them. he wasn't always like this he used to do those kinds of things for me now im lucky if i even get two words said to me because hes constantly on his phone for facebook, ebay, basically anything almost to ignore me.