Me? Tired. But can't sleep, or really if I do sleep it is crap sleep.
Me? I suck. I'm a jerk, feeling like I'm on the edge of screaming at people. You know, the idiot employee, the person that gets the meal wrong, the wife that wants to talk about finances. I am a raging *** these past few months.

Me? Taking a test on bi-polar mania quiz online. At the end is says my score is 53, then below it says, "80% of people who score a 25 are diagnosed bipolar." Jeez, I got a 53 so that makes me crazy, which I always knew I was.

Sleep? Well, sometimes I lay down, can't sleep and will go into work at midnight or 2 a.m. when everyone else is in bed sleeping. I get a lot done, but it makes for a 20 hour day. Then I crash and burn.

Risky behavior? Spending money I shouldn't? This has been me my entire life.

I am absolutely frightened of medication, the side effects etc. Yet at the same time my efficiency, relationships etc are all on the decline. I'm tired of this crap. And I will get this phrase going through me head sometimes and I can't shut it down, "F it", only the full version. I will say it out loud, repeat it out loud, and say it over and over in my head. I am fricking crazy, I know I am. No cure for me. I'm a fricking loser I tell you, cause unnecessary heart ache on my family. F it.