Most pdocs/t's understand the difference between self harm and suicidal intentions. If you are feeling suicidal, you have to do what is best for you. I know not having here there hurts, a lot of us have been there. But you need to make sure you're selfish in this case. We all need to survive on our terms. And if hospitalization would help you, please make sure you follow your gut.

The times I've been in the hospital saved my life.