I just cannot do this. I'm useless and hopeless and weak and stupid. I'm not strong enough. I'm just endlessly, endlessly waiting for help. I want to scream at the world "I am not okay!".

I just want to disappear from the world. Everything would be better off. My parents think that I just need to want to get better. Do they think that I want to feel like this?

The arguments, the rows, the filthy looks if I dare to look at all upset. If I have the cheek to have a panic attack. That me having a half-decent half-hour means that I've been over-dramatising everything for however long, making a big deal out of it when I'm actually okay.

I can't do this. I'm not good enough. I don't deserve to be well. I'll just throw it away.