Mouse, I can relate. I've also told t way back about a dream I had that included her comforting presence, and how different and manageable and good life would have been had I had her back then!
I do not quite understand what you mean by 'i felt bad about myself at that age...' You felt you were a bad kid? Or you felt sorry about your difficult situation?
What thoughts you would have on a desert island where there is no one to hear you? I think it would be an experience of aloneness and despair and overwhelming futility and disempowerment, rage, helplessness, sadness, deep psychic pain, angst. Because you'd be re-experiencing the alone-ness of your childhood.
If I'm way off the mark, I apologize.