Quote:
Originally Posted by BLUEDOVE
You got it in one! People that think kindness is
weakness . . . .are as thick as 2 planks! Of course it
is ok to be kind, but one must not overdo it,and one
must be careful WHO one is kind too! With others,
look out for the 'seemingly' small things,do they
put other people down,how are they with money,
do they tip, what is their world view,do they show
any compassion? (for instance some tragedy on news), all these and more seep out in one way or
another.So take it on board,this is your job,to see
what seeps out, not just to go along passively just
enjoying someone, (that can change in a flash).
You become,in a way,a detective,and so watch,and
think things over. Also,don't be aggressive,get some
books on being assertive (which is having your say
without abusing the other). E.G. " Sorry,that's not
acceptable to me," rather than "Piss off!"
Kind Regards,
BLUEDOVE
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So, why do you think that a lot of people think that kind people are dumb and weak? To me, that's just stupid as kind people can be strong and just because you're nice but not overly nice, that doesn't mean that you're dumb.
It's sad that so many people have become so jaded and stupid. Anyways, I do pay a lot more attention to other people's actions these days. Once I can see that my kindness is not being appreciated or reciprocated, I stop. I'm no idiot.
Hopefully this doesn't sound petty, but even with my best friend, I got annoyed that she texted me at the very last minute for the last few years on my B-day as well as giving me B.S excuses about gifts. I knew that she couldn't afford to give me anything at the time, but she kept on "forgetting" and to lie to me about saying she'll eventually get me something upset me. I kept that to myself though since she won't get it anyways and just get defensive and B.S me again.
So I did the same thing to her and texted her later in the day on her B-day instead of taking the time to send her an e-card or buy her one. I also didn't get her anything for Christmas last year.
She reluctantly gave me some cheap crap that she was planning on selling almost a year later after I casually reminded her about her promise. I wasn't trying to be mean, it's just that enough is enough. I can deal with no gift, but the lies are what really gets to me.
I knew that if I confronted her about things that she'd get upset, so I just let it go as it's not a friend breaking deal breaker although it was a thoughtless way to treat a best friend, to not even care enough to call me in person to talk or hang out in person that day. My b-day is on a holiday, but not one to where you have to spend it with family instead, so that made it even more disappointing.
I don't put up with crap from people anymore. I have few close friend these days, but they are good people who treat me with respect 99% of the time.
I'm usually more assertive than aggressive with most people most of the time. However, when someone irritates me or pisses me off to much, then I can't help but be a little mean. I try not to be though. I'm usually a nice person as long as people don't try to lie to me or treat me bad.