Hi Sophia, first of all, well done on getting out of the relationship!!! It can be really tough to work up to getting out of a relationship like that, which I'm sure you know!!! Kudos to you!!!
And it's easy to understand how you could miss the good times, the good things about him. They were very real to you, and they mattered to you. But you know that wasn't the whole of your relationship, you know that wasn't the whole of him.
Sometimes however good something is it really isn't worth the heartache that comes along with it. It isn't worth losing yourself over.
And you can still have good times again (maybe better!!) with someone with the qualities you liked in him (and maybe more!!) without the emotional abuse. Without the feeling insulted, inferior, scared, upset, humiliated (?)................With someone who is going to treat you as you deserve to be treated, who will show you respect, who will show you you're valued.
Now naturally your confidence and self-esteem are going to be suffering after what you've been through so it might take some time to build them back up, but really have some faith in your strength to do that. You got out of the relationship, you have strength, you have so much strength!!
Now the friends that you have got must care about you, so time to let them know that he hasn't won, that you're still there, that you'd like to refocus your life on people who really matter.
It might take some time to move past what you've experienced (afterall you've just got out of the relationship) and there may be times when the bad times come back to you really clearly, but you are still making a fresh start without him, and you are one step closer to being happy and enjoying life again. Just do what you can to opening up your world to others who can be important to you, bit by bit, by bit.
Alison
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