Quote:
Originally Posted by Rayne Selene
Hi,
I'm a twenty year old college sophomore. I'm taking eighteen credit hours (twelve credit hours is considered full-time), and I'm having a really hard time staying focused and doing well. I'll go through a phase where I'll work like crazy and then I'll suddenly get tired and can't do anything. I don't handle stress very well at all. When I think about how many things I need to do this week I can't handle it and it's like I close my eyes and pretend it doesn't exist. Then I just get more stressed out. When I finally sit down to do something I can focus for maybe a minute or two (like a page of reading) before I lose it again. I can't stick to anything.
I'm having a really hard time, and when I get really depressed I think about dropping out of school all together. This semester I'm getting to the point that I can't even get myself out of bed, and then I hate myself for how lazy I am.
I just got diagnosed with bipolar disorder a few weeks ago. I don't know how to handle all of this. Does anyone have any suggestions?
Please don't suggest therapy: I know it's good advice, I just can't afford it. And yes, there is a councilor at my school. But it costs money.
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This is where I love to tell my how I got through graduate school story.
I used to be one of these closet bipolars who kept my condition a secret from the world (WRONG CHOICE!). While working on my thesis research, I fell into a deep depression that lasted three months. When I returned to the university, my graduate advisor (also the chairman of the chemistry department) told me that I was in deep trouble and on academic probation pending a decision by my thesis committee as to whether to let me complete my program or terminate me. I could see he was furious over my unannounced absence, and it was then that I confessed that I have BP1. The look on his faced suddenly changed from rage to empathy. From that instant on the department did everything they could to support my successful completion of my masters degree. I LOVE THE UNIVERSITY OF COLORADO!
The point is this: your school should be able to work with you to help you get through successfully. According to the Americans with Disabilities Act (1992) they must make accommodations to help you achieve and succeed.
You're not experiencing anything that the rest of us BP's don't experience. May be that doesn't help you much to know this, but you could speak with your academic counselor for starters. BUT LET THEM KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DEALING WITH - WHAT THEY DON'T KNOW CAN HURT YOU.