Hey, you gotta notice it before you can "change" it if you want. There's nothing wrong with a good protection, we need that. It's only when things aren't what we "want" that we have to change them, when they don't work. Everyone has/uses defenses, it's just whether they work the way that one wants that is important.

I used my anxiety, my portcullis-down-drawbridge-up-cue-the-hot-oil-and-alligators-in-the-moat-before-the-other-person-can-blink defenses to my advantage by realizing I'm so good at defending myself that I don't have to be afraid :-) Does that make sense? I can trust myself to close up without my even thinking of it so fast that "they" can't get me so it's okay if I experiment and risk! It's a wonderful feeling to be able to trust one's self, even one's "defenses" that we think are too much/bad.

You can "practice" exploring feelings inside your Self where others can't see, knowing if it gets too much your Self will bring the curtain down and you'll be able to rest.