Just saw my t, for a minute, and I already know if he knew of what was going on and the thoughts that have goon through my head he would not be happy. I was suicidal for a few hours and didn't call the crisis line. If I tell him, he'll give me that look of disappointment, and ask why did you not call. But I got through that night. I kind of feel like I'm in hiding.
Here's something, I am a week and a half free of si but have had two episodes of suicidal thinking. But is being free of si worth the risk? Is there a way to get rid of the worry? To free my mind of pain, crazy accidents, and disaster. Is it worth it?

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