I truly feel for you. I have not been myself for the past four months, and have gotten little enjoyment out of the things I used to love, such as fishing. During the one time of the year that I could have gone to Florida (where I go fishing), I just wasn't up for it, and chose to just stay at home. I usually anticipate this week all year long, and it's sad to see myself just not care about it. I'm hoping that Lexapro will help turn me around like it did for my dad, my uncle, my aunt, and my grandparents, but right now it's just a waiting game.

As for the temporary kick-start from an amphetamine or methylphenidate -- I would caution against it. Given your past dependence on alcohol, a stimulant could turn into the same exact problem, but with potentially more severe consequences. The high will make you feel good for a bit, and most people (whether consciously or subconsciously) find themselves taking more medication in chasing that same high that they will never again achieve. Luckily I started my medication long before I could understand all of this, so it hasn't been a problem for me.