Mine got dramatically worse after age 50. Up till then I was blissfully unaware that I was bipolar; if I thought about it at all, I can remember distinct episodes of mania and depression, but at the time I didn't know that's what they were. It simply wasn't a big deal. (Not to me anyway; my family later told me they thought I was "mental" as far back as my late 30s.)

Then about 4 years ago, I started having more and more episodes and started wondering about BP. I took the online quiz and scored off the charts. Still, I wasn't diagnosed till 2012 because I didn't want to acknowledge it, didn't want to have to see a psychiatrist and take medications and do all the things we have to do to stay well. I especially didn't want people to think I was crazy.

Well, here it is, I'm 55 now and yep, when I'm in the middle of an episode, I'm crazy. But I have times when I'm just as normal as everyone else, and that's what I cling to when times aren't so good. I have a great pdoc who also does therapy, a wonderful support system, and medications which take away the worst of the disease. I don't think I can ask for anything more. I wish I didn't have bipolar, but I do, and I'm finally learning how to live with it.