I have many issues. But I am not going to name all of them. There’s just too many. You guys dedicate your lives to help people. I admire that. But I feel as if I am beyond help at this point. The auditory hallucinations. The psychological torture. The sleep deprivation. Just to name a few big ones. The constant gaining and losing weight. The severe anxiety. The sudden periods of depression. I have severe trust issues that no one even knows about because I am a compulsive liar. I put on a mask every day of my life. And still somehow, I am able to live. Everyday. Suicidal thoughts enter here and there but they have a tendency to fluctuate. I have emotionally hurt people, manipulate them, act like I am on their side only to turn my back on them. I guess you could say I lack empathy. But I do not do this to a lot of people. Only the select few that the voices tell me to. When I do they congratulate me. When I fail they torture me. I’ve self-medicated many many times, but my over religious family is so close minded that they just do not see anything wrong with me. I suppose I make it worse by being a phenomenal liar. So I am a composer, a writer, a lyricist, and a student at the moment. I have plans to attend Harvard in the fall. But everything I mentioned is not only holding me back from developing in my career, but in my life in general. I have learned to cope slightly with yoga and meditation. But it only helps to an extent. I have never been formally diagnosed or have been to see a psychiatrist because I am still a minor and I have fear and anxiety linked to what could happen if my over religious parents found out about what has been going on with me mentally.