New Medication

New medication added is Zoloft and I'm scared shirtless. I took my first dose tonight which is 25mg. I'm reading articles where people are having these bad reactions to this med. Like this.

Psychotic Episode From Zoloft - MedsChat - The People's Medicine Community

I'm actually feeling really good tonight. I mean I don't know how long it takes too work. Or if you feel it right away but I cannot take on another delusional state. I don't have it in me. My xanax is helping. I still take 2mg when needed and I never take over 4mg, it rarely comes to that. I really hope, for once in my life, Zoloft will help me. I took it in the past but I was drinking 15 beers a day and I wound up in the hospital. I'm asking myself, is it really worth it? Has anyone had positive effects from this medication. I'm very depressed and my worst symptom is paranoia. Has anyone taken it for paranoia? Did it help? I'm working really close with my therapist with this medication. I cannot afford another hospitalization, I will give up. I'm so aware I just can't see how my brain can just switch off into delusion, it had to be the beer. I have been episode free since November. I see my doctor on Thursday. He did prescribe it with abilify but I heard its expensive. I think I should be on a mood stabilizer with it but I'm not a doctor. I will see what he says on Thursday.

I am starting to understand my cycling. Especially without drinking I can feel when I'm gonna go into a depressed state, but tonight I feel pretty good. But tomorrow could suck, that's the struggle. I just wanna be stable all the time.

Labeling

I'm having a hard time with the whole labeling concept. My therapist told me not to worry about it at all. She told me not to be ignorant and fall into how society tends to label people struggling with issues. She's really cool and I trust her so thats important. I see her twice a weak and she's the first therapist I've been totally honest with. I really think I can beat this. I can't expect my family to cure me, I'm 36 and need to grow up and face this head on. And its hard. When your drinking you don't have to deal with these feelings because you self medicate and make them go away, but you only make it worse. If I can't do it now, I don't see much of a future for me.

Thanks for all the support